Super easy meal! Tilapia with a cilantro cream sauce with rice and broccoli. Saute garlic, onion, and fresh cilantro until browned, then add heavy whipping cream to simmer for 4 minutes or so. Bake tilapia in dish at 375 for 10 minutes, pour sauce over tilapia and bake for an addition 5-7 minutes. 

     Finding God’s will for your life is a lot easier than we make it out to be. Well, let me rephrase that, following Christ is a lot simpler than we make it out to be. I have been learning here lately that it is our selfishness, not Christ’s direction, that complicates things. When we our focusing on ourselves, we cannot focus on Christ. I mean, just take Matthew 22:37-39 for example. Of all the things the Lord has called us to do in this life, he simplifies it down to one thing! One WORD even. Love. I don’t think you can get any more simple than just one word.

”’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”

Then He goes on to say that the second most important thing is to love your neighbor (ie. Your co-worker, your brother, your boss, your literal neighbor, the lady in front of you at Kroger.) If we could just get those two things down, heck—-if we could get that one thing down, our lives would be dramatically different. If you really love the Lord, loving your neighbor is going to be a lot easier. If you really learn to love God, ceasing to live “in” this world will become clearer. 

It’s so easy for us to become consumed with the technicalities of “religion” and different ideas on doctrine, but really those things are secondary. I would even go so far as to say that serving is secondary. I think Matthew 22 was written in that order on purpose—love God then love others—-because we have to get loving God first, in order for our love for others to be genuine. 

If you’ve been around church long enough, you’ve seen some church “leaders” crash and burn. It makes you wonder how someone that was so eager to learn, so hungry for fellowship, could now be living a life so opposite from what they proclaimed to desire. If you don’t learn how to have a “relationship” with your Father, there is no anchor or root keeping you sound. No amount of serving in a church or ministry position will produce this genuine life change. It doesn’t start outwardly, it starts inwardly. 

Get to know your Heavenly Father, first. Learn how to love Him. Learn how to communicate with Him through prayer. Learn how to read about Him in scripture. Learn how to talk about Him with others. I promise you your life will fall into place when your soul is gazing at your Creator. The color of your hair, the craftiness of your clothes, the condition of your possessions—-none of this really matters when you are in step with Christ. 

I am honestly writing this to remind myself of these things. I think Adam can testify that I am a much more enjoyable and lovable person when I am loving Christ. And I am sure I will continue to fail and forget what it’s really all about. I’m sure I will have to be reminded of this “simple” truth over and over again. I told you that it was easy to follow Christ, and in theory, it is. In Heaven, it will be the most natural thing. But here on this sinful earth, loving our Lord is going to be a constant battle—a constant struggle to repress the selfishness that so easily surfaces, despite our most holy of desires. And the cool thing is, that no matter how many times we forget or fail, our Father can only love us more, and continue to take us back. 

She was only three years old. Not your typical, whiny three-year-old. She was brave and she was strong. You could see it in her eyes. She fought a good fight, but by the end of it, you could tell she was ready. She was ready for peace and weightless rest. 

She looked like an angel, wrapped in white sheets—despite the tubes and wires protruding from her body in a tangled display. Her face was calm and quiet. She had already begun taking on the form of her next voyage.

The room was swarming with family members—in and out and in and out. Everyone talked in a low whisper, as they hovered over her bed. Questions, lots and lots of questions. How, why, when….no one seemed to understand or grasp the enormity of the situation. All they could do was stare at her limp, pale frame. But her Daddy. Her daddy clutched her hand ever so tightly. He kept kissing her and telling her to “Be brave…..Be brave…..Be brave.”

I think that’s why she held on for so long.

She held on for her Daddy. He wasn’t ready yet. She was ready. You could see it in her eyes. She wanted to go, but Daddy wasn’t ready yet.

Every time she got close, the room would go silent. Breaths were held in anticipation for the release of the past three day’s emotions. Then her Daddy would start up again….”Be brave…..Be brave……Be brave.” And she was back, just like that. 

She eventually stopped responding, stopped opening her eyes. The pain was too much to bear. She was ready to go.

I whispered into her ear every chance I got, “It’s okay to let go. Your Daddy will be fine. He will be okay. Just let go, baby. Let go.” 

For three days, she held on for her Daddy. 

And then it happened. She let go and an orchestra of wailing began. There were lots of hugs, lots of kisses. Lots of tears. Her Daddy still had a hold of that tiny hand. I watched as he kissed it one last time, hunched forward to press his lips to her angel face, and then quickly scurried out of the room. 

And just as soon as the orchestra began, it ended. And we were alone. 

I cleaned her tiny frame up and wrapped her in warm white sheets. And she was happy again. You could see it in her eyes. She had finally let go and found her weightless rest.  

rsf:

In discussing solitude and the need for it, three words are important: aloneness, loneliness, and solitude. You and I and all people are alone. Aloneness is a natural fact. No one else in the world is like me: I am unique. No one else feels and experiences the world the way I do: I am alone.

Now,…

1. Don’t die your hair. You’ll start dying, and never be able to stop. It’s way too addicting. And it costs too much money, and you’ll wish you were brunette when your blonde, and blonde when you’re brunette. But then again, I’ll tell you to do it because you love it so much and it’s nice to have change. 

2. Keep writing, and write more. You really do enjoy it and it helps out a whole lot, especially when you have no idea what you’re really feeling. 

3. You really should milk that whole “I have Diabetes” thing more often. Skip a few more classes, get a few more free snacks, cut in front of long lines, etc. 

4. Don’t wish your days away. High school will go by so fast, then college, and then you’re gonna be a real adult. Once you get there, you’ll wish you were right back at home with the old folks. I promise. 

5. The purple taurus was awesome. Don’t hate. 

6. Don’t study. Ok, you can study a TINY bit. But really? Don’t even think about stressing out. You have a photographic memory, take advantage of that puppy! 

7. Stop running from Jesus. He’s going to love you no matter what you do, so stop spending so much time trying to impress Him. Just be with Him and enjoy the life He has blessed you with. Learn about Him and let Him love you!

8. Spend more time with your friends, and less time sleeping.

9.  Pay more attention to those around you. There are so many hurting hearts and desperate cries for help that go unnoticed. If you would stop being so concerned with yourself, you might get more opportunities to love on someone else. 

10. And last but not least, you’ll get asked a million times if your insulin pump is an mp3 player. For Heaven’s sake, just say yes. You’ll avoid many awkward convos and save less time having to explain Diabetes and how you really can eat sugar, just like everyone else. But then again, just go ahead and explain so they’ll be less uneducated folks and save another poor little diabetic from the “mp3” attack. 

I hope I entertained you. I stole this idea from a fellow blogger: http://himynameisjeffrey.wordpress.com/

I’m gonna be honest, It’s not easy for me to spend money. I’m a hoarder. And if you know me, this really isn’t a surprise. But, in the off chance that you don’t know this about me—SURPRISE. I’m greedy. Greedy with a capitol “G.” I like having money in my bank account and I like to control where it goes and to whom it goes. Yikes. Better watch out, future hubby. I need lots of grace and forgiveness in this area :)

I love bargains. I love finding things at half the price. If I don’t think something is worth the money, I will refuse to pay for it and do without. It’s hard for me to tip people. Let’s not even talk about my begrudged heart with tithing. Yep, I’m being honest. And YEP the Lord is working on this ugly heart. Slowly but surely, He’s workin’ on it. 

But, I feel like it’s necessary for me to talk about it. For one, I need others to keep me accountable. I don’t want to continue to be like this. It’s not the heart of Jesus and it’s a lifestyle that will leave me with lots of “treasures” and nothing to treasure. Also, I want to encourage others who are like me—we need each other.

This life is NOT all that there is. If there is one thing in my life that I hold steadfast to, it’s that this life is temporary. These problems, these issues, these times—WILL fade. So, why is it so hard for me to be carefree in this area of money? It’s ironic, I know. 

I read Luke 12 this morning and it gave me a good swift kick in the booty. Basically, Jesus is all like “Stop freaking out. Stop worrying. Don’t I take care of the animals and birds? Don’t they have enough to eat and somewhere to sleep? And you think I won’t do that for you? You are so much more precious to my heart than animals, so much more valuable! Quit being such a dummy. I know what you need. and I will be pleased to give it to you.” 

So, Lord, I’m gonna regret saying this, but give me opportunities to release this greedy heart. Give me situations where I can learn to have an eternal mindset in the area of money. Let me know what it’s like to rely on YOU and not have to have such a tight control over what I “need.” After all, I believe you know what I need ten million times the clarity with which I see. 

Yep. I might regret what I asked for in the moment, but I KNOW that Christ will not disappoint, and I know He has valuable lessons to teach me and mold me into His child. :) And THAT is what THIS life is all about. 

I watched a father pick up his barely months-old infant for the last time the other night. I watched as he stepped into the room with three long strides, up to the hospital bed, bent forward, and swoop up his child in one exaggerated movement. He pulled the baby close to his shoulder, placed his face cheek-to-cheek with his deceased son. And he just stood there, sobbing. That was all I could bare to watch. I myself, had huge rain-drop tears streaming down my face. No father should have to bury his child, no matter what kind of man he is or what he has done. But in this fallen world, sights like this are all too familiar sometimes.

Do you ever have those moments in your life that are forever in your memory? Maybe it’s a scent, a taste, sight, or texture, but whatever it is, it’s etched into your brain for good? And you’ll be brought back to that moment in various times throughout your life, no matter how much time has passed, and that memory is vivid, crystal clear. You can still see that face or feel that touch, as if no time has passed. It is during these moments that I feel most alive—most human. I think we need moments like that to remind us that yes, we are in reality, and yes, what we do really matters.

That was my moment—watching that father scoop his baby into his arms. It’s not a happy one, unfortunately. But it’s etched in my brain nonetheless.

I work in an environment that produces these types of moments all too often. I’m not sure if I really understood or if I really understand what I am getting myself into. But that’s okay. I feel like I am supposed to be here (and believe me, I never really feel like I’m supposed to be anywhere, so that means something) and I feel like the Lord is ordaining my steps. One thing I do know, I’m learning how to be soft. You would think this type of environment would produce a hardened heart, and I imagine it does, but I think the Lord wants to produce in me a tender, loving heart. I’ve got the whole tough-girl thing down. And It’s an ugly thing. 

So, I’m sorry if my tumblr is a bit depressing at times :) You’ll just have to bear with me! Hopefully, I get to share some happy stories in there as well! 

What the Gospel Demands by David Platt

I was recommended to listen to this podcast, and I think it’s important enough to share with everyone else. 

What if that really is what following Christ is supposed to look like? I think so. 

It’s free on itunes! Just give it a search, and go listen! The church he preaches at is called Brook Hills

I wish more people understood what it means to have a relationship with Christ. I wish more people understood what it was like to truly love Christ, with wreckless abandon. It is not enough to simply believe in “a god” or “the God.” There is no love in that. There is no true life change in that. Life change—that is the very essence of a relationship with Christ. It should CHANGE your life. Your life should look different, feel different. It’s not a one time experience. You don’t just ‘pray some prayer’ and that’s it. No, God calls us to have a steady relationship with Him. ‘Praying some prayer’ is just the first step. It’s an acknowledgement that “Yes, I do believe in God, and now I am ready to learn what He is all about.”

Too many Christians think that it’s that one prayer that ends all. 

No.

God promises MUCH more than that. 

When people rely on this prayer as the end all, they never really get to know Christ. I know far too many Christians, my old self included, who have no real relationship with Christ. It becomes something they just “believe in”, maybe even attend a weekly church service, volunteer on the side, but they haven’t allowed Christ to fully transform their life—relieve their fears, remove doubts, heal wounds, refresh broken relationships, strengthen weaknesses. 

I get so discouraged sometimes, wishing for more people to really experience Christ. Religion is stifling, crippling. Simply believing in something just because someone told you to—that’s a scary place to be. You should be experiencing Christ yourself. You should be seeking Him for yourself—-in prayer, in His precious Word, in conversation with people. 

God has made Himself accessible to EVERY human. Everyone. Not just some ‘elite.’ Not just ‘good’ people. EVERYONE. In fact, sometimes its harder for the “good” ones to really experience Christ. You have to be broken to realize how gracious our God is.

      “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 1128-30)

I desperately wish for more people to experience freedom! True freedom. It’s really real! God means what He says! He promises, not that He will remove our burdens—not that He will take away difficult circumstances in your life. No, He doesn’t promise a life free of difficulty. He promises to sustain us in that life—-REST and to lighten our burden. He promises that He will provide us freedom in those difficult circumstances. He will give you peace, courage, and strength. And those burdens will soon seem smaller and smaller….

        Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

If I can make any impact in this life—it will be that I can help someone experience freedom. I would love nothing more than for my life to be dedicated to helping my brothers and sisters find what it REALLY means to have a relationship with Christ. Not just sit in  church each week and succumb to a life of apathy and frustration. 

Too many churches, too many leaders, too much religion has become tainted with the things of this world. It sickens me to hear what some “Christians” claim about Christ. And I know that hurts God’s heart a million times more…

Religion is ridiculous—twisted, tainted, broken.

God is not. 

Follow Jesus, not religion. 

I am PASSIONATE about this (if you couldn’t tell already ;) ) I would love nothing more than to continue this conversation with anyone in person, because I think this world has such a twisted picture of Jesus. A broken picture of Jesus. I would hate for someone to continue on in this life without having the chance to really experience God’s love…..